Letting Go of Expectations

Letting Go of

EXPECTATIONS

What does it mean to let go of expectations?

What are expectations really?

Are they a set rule of behavior?

Are they full of promise - or mostly of disappointment?

Expectations from others are almost always 

setting you up for disappointment.

Why?

Because, 

Expectations have no rules

Expectations have no boundaries

Expectations keep you in bondage

Mainly;

Expectations will be different for everyone

Expectations 

can ruin relationships

can ruin blessings

can ruin trust

can ruin your heart.

 Letting go of expectations

Can Heal a relationship

Can bring freedom to your life

Can allow blessings to be poured out

Can heal a heart they didn't really break

Can restore trust in others

Can allow you to be FREE!

An example of setting expectations with no rules:

I have a great group of people that I have known for many years.

My husband's parents first introduced them to me - 

it was his best friend and his family.

Several years later,

this family went into full-time ministry.

Through some odd 35+ years,

I have attended their revivals, 

been invited into their church homes, 

shared times in their family homes

Through the years

I built my own relationships with this particular family.

I have also served with this family and congregation.

Fast forward to the last few years.

I have become self-dubbed as a boomerang-worshiper at their church.

That is what I call myself.

I attend for awhile - 

then I seek another 'home' 

I seek - 

whatever it is I seem to be 'seeking'

Thus, I 

boomerang to and fro

and mostly based on 'expectations'

that I set for them towards me.

I mentioned this term just last night 

it was refuted as it being untrue.

One special person reminded me that she was thankful.

Thankful I pondered? 

Why would that be?

She was thankful that I was present last night, 

in that moment, 

that we had a chance to catch up - 

to just be in one another's presence.

It didn't matter to her

how long I had been gone

It didn't matter to those I greeted

I was welcomed with open arms,

smiles and best of all

HUGS!!

She had said earlier during praise that 

NOTHING is wasted.

All experiences, good and bad are all used for God.

Today, as I reflect back over the years

the years that I would stay only for a short time

And yet always I returned....

I returned when God told me to 'Go Home'

I returned when I finally admitted that I was running away.

I returned to familiarity,  to comfort.

I always return to this family of worshipers.

I have filled my cup at Jesus' feet

I have been blessed by many situations

that could have been much worse

God has softened hearts 

God has softened even my own heart.

I have also learned much through the years 

by ignoring God and others.

Taking care to listen to the silent whisper

To listen when you know that the whisper is talking directly to you

Also, from last night - 

you cannot look backwards to where you've been 

while you are trying to go forward.

Lot's wife tried to do this

Looking back when leaving Sodom

She was turned into a pillar of Salt.

Why Salt?  

This was asked during our study last night,

 and my thoughts on this are;

WE are the salt

We cannot lose our flavoring.

Mark 9:50 says:

English Standard Version

Salt is good, but if the salt has lost its saltiness, 

how will you make it salty again? 

Have salt in yourselves,

and be at peace with one another.”

Have Salt in yourselves,

And be at peace with one another.

Letting go of expectations is one way to do this.

Don't expect others to do as you would do.

Others are not YOU

Don't expect to receive if you are not giving 

of yourself

of your talents

of your wisdom

of God's calling.

For now

I am going to be letting go of my own expectations 

I will seek God's favor

I will seek God's guidance

I will not look back.

The past called

it had nothing new to say

I hung up!

Our past experiences mold us going forward.

However,

We can't stay in the same place forever.

Just like a rear view mirror 

you cannot focus too long on what is behind

or you will miss

 what is right in front of you

What you are meant to see 

right now.

Freedom comes when you 

release the bonds of expectations

release the ties of the past the holds you back

The future is in front of you

Reach out for it

Share your gifts with others

Share your love with those who need it

Be available 

Anything is possible

when you first believe.

If you don't know Jesus 

If you don't have a church 'home'

Get plugged in.

Here are a few links to help give you direction.

Verses on Accepting JESUS here

Read God's word here

Find a Church HOME here 

Watch my HOME Church online here 

Learning about the Bible here

Be blessed!!

DarleneBl©2025

 

Computers, Laundry & Life

COMPUTERS

We've all been in that limbo situation when the computer that you love to hate faiIs you. 

Many times, it is of course, 

right before a job interview, 

needing a saved file 

or before a work test. 

You are all set, you turn it on 

and the spinning screen of death shows up 

or it shuts off immediately

or IT cannot fix it 

so you work without your normal flow

It disrupts you and 

pauses you

while your attitude takes a deep dive!

 How is this even possible?  you think!  

It worked just fine yesterday, and all the days before that. 

Today? 

No go! 

Frustrating, 

isn't it? 

No matter what we do to protect our electronics - 

they simply fail at the wrong time! 

We stress, 

we trouble-shoot, 

we vent and eventually, 

we send it in for repairs 

we choose a new system

we rely on IT to fix it - 

Yesterday!!

My dear friend and I, 

as well as my husband - 

we are all dealing with computer 

headaches together! 

We are very frustrated and these things that we need so desperately 

at the moment to do what needs done in our lives - 

have definitely taken more of our time than we'd rather spend! 

The issues came out of nowhere and now we're faced with decisions, 

repair options 

and waiting on IT 

so we can all get going again!

I was thinking today that life 

can suddenly act like a failed computer. 

One day, things just go 

kerplunk! 

kerflooey! 

kaput!  

*a bit of a reference from Arthur the mouse on 

Twas the night before Christmas cartoon*

You might not have warning signs that anything is even wrong. 

Or, there may have been several small things 

that finally add up to a mess 

or even a catastrophe loss.

It could be a distance of another's choosing,  

a lack of communication,  

a moment where someone didn't back you up - 

or there was an overall lack of mutual maintenance of the relationship. 

Sadly, life can also be catastrophic 

when a person's time on this great green earth comes to an end. 

Loss has now changed your world - 

in one or many of these examples. 

What do you do? You try to fix it. 

That's a logical path. 

Whether it be a relationship, 

ill health, 

family estrangements 

or even deep grief.  

Everything in itself has a solution. 

Not all are easy fixes and not all fully restored. 

LAUNDRY

Tonight while folding laundry, 

I was thinking how organized I like it to be. 

I'll sort jeans, blacks, colors, whites, towels, sheets to wash them. After drying, they're all placed into the baskets until full - 

everything all jumbled together, no order at all!

Once I take my clean laundry upstairs - I toss it all onto my bed for folding. 

Separating the types of clothes are now sitting 

in new piles before I fold them for putting away.

Every item has a specific type of fold - 

a specific spot in our 12 drawer under-dresser bed frame 

(1983 water bed frame and drawers) 

Hubby has 6 drawers on his side, 

I have 6 drawers on my side. 

Everything gets neatly folded and placed in their respective place. 

LIFE

Life is not usually set up to be so clean, neat nor tidy. 

It sometimes is much like the red shirt 

that gets washed with the white clothes 

and now you have a batch of lovely pink everything! 

Or, that pack of gum you missed in a pocket 

and now you have a gooey mess on your favorite jeans! 

Especially that favorite shirt that got shrunk 

by a too hot dryer - 

or was not to be put in the wash at all! 

Computers are aggravating - 

as life can be!

Laundry isn't as clean and neat 

as we'd like - 

just like life can 

it can be dirty & messy.

A life well lived is going to crash & burn 

here and there. 

What matters is how you get back up afterwards! 

A life well lived is not going to be clean & tidy - 

with everything in the correct place all the time!

A life well lived will have grey days, 

blue days, 

bright sunny, hopeful days, 

laughter, tears, joy, 

sadness and more!

I ran across a poem the other day that really made me think! 

Lessons to learn?

Live life to the fullest!

To the best of your ability!

Weather the storms and keep on trying!

Clean your heart of any darkness 

and share pure joy with others.

Smile at a stranger -

You never know who you'll touch!

Take the time to live in the moments:

Breathe in the sweet smells after a cleansing rain.

Listen to the birds sing and take a moment of pause to just 'be'.

Chase a butterfly across a meadow

Stop to smell the beautiful flowers

Sit on the porch and watch a lightning storm

Sit on the grass and have a picnic

Walk barefoot when the dew is fresh

Take a roll down a grassy hill - 

be a kid once in a while!

Love with all you have -

 be a blessing to those you love -

smile at new people you might meet.

Make memories 

and share them again 

when minds begin to fade.

Computers, Laundry & Life - 

they all hit us differently! 

They will treat us differently

We will all react

differently.

This life we live is so very precious 

and sometimes we have to be facing 

the reality of its possible end 

how SHORT life truly is!

The realization hits hard

that along the way, 

we forgot how to live it to the fullest! 

Start now if that is you! 

Make a 'bucket list'

Start going places you've never been to

Dream of the impossible dream!

Don't save today for a rainy day

Spend it with frivolously 

and joyously

It is only too late when you wake up in Heaven! 

Make it your BEST life while you can!

Most important - 

leave this great green earth 

with no regrets!!

Be blessed ❤️

balancinglifethejourney@gmail.com

©2017-2025

Obligation and the road to Freedom

 How often have you been in a situation

 that you felt an 

obligation... 

                                                            to do something

to perform a service

to engage with a stranger

to fix something that you didn't break

to reach out to someone you're not close to

to be responsible for someone

 

Where freedom

was missing?

 When the obligation presented itself...

Was it something you truly wanted to do?

Was it for a person you truly cared for?

What was your attitude?

How did your heart feel?

Would taking care of your obligations

grant you a sense of freedom?

I am at a crossroads 

with a bit of an obligation myself.

It doesn't feel like

freedom will ever 

be a part of it either!

Unfortunately, I am needing to face 

my own attitude 

and 'feelings'!

Feelings 

of

"I don't want to" 

"Why is it always my responsibility?"

"Do I really need to go there now?"

"Why is this not more fun?"

"When have they ever seen what I do?"

Feelings of

The Past!

Yes, the feels

are getting all mixed up 

in my 'I don't want to' 

attitude and 

changing how I approach

the obligations & responsibilities before me.

Sometimes,

Just having validation from others...

That you have done it all right

That you are on the right path

That you aren't being gas-lit

That you have performed in the best interest

of another...

Can definitely 

help give you some 

welcomed 

Freedom in your mind.

There are also times that obligations are

from your past.

People from your past that hurt you 

over and over again.

Situations that were never resolved

change your attitude

The past colors your present actions

and definitely how you approach 

a situation!

To get from obligation to freedom:

You will have to...

Move past your hurt feelings

Move past your attitude

Move past the history

Move past the strife

Move past the feeling of obligation!

You cannot change the past

What was said

What was done

How things were approached.

However, 

leaving the past in the past - 

You CAN

Move forward 

to acknowledging your feelings

Move forward 

to changing your attitude

Move forward

allowing the past to stay...in the past!

Move forward

and approach it all from a

healed perspective!

Move forward

accepting the apology

that you are never going to get!

Freedom is a unique feeling -

Freedom is like a breath of fresh air after being closed in

Freedom is like grass that bends to the wind in a full meadow

It is a release from the expectation of failure you previously set before you

It is a release from the expectations of fixing something you didn't break

Freedom is also allowing yourself a bit of grace

Grace to change your attitude into thoughtfulness.

Instead of looking at a situation as an obligation

Take freedom a step further...

Obligation is now changed into an Opportunity

Obligation is now changed into a Privilege

Obligation is now changed into providing Grace

Obligation is now changed into reclaiming your heart

Obligation changes the past into a new future -

Giving an obligation a brand-new meaning

Obligation changes a responsibility into a choice

The choice of...experiencing total FREEDOM!

Freedom can bring Joy

when before, 

You would only see the pain!

Freedom changes your attitude to be more positive

you see the situation in a different light

Freedom changes the heart to be more caring

allowing you to experience the situation differently

Freedom changes responsibility into a privilege

one that you might not have had before

Freedom changes the course of the situation

and allowing you to focus on

tomorrow!

So, if you are facing an obligation

that is changing your attitude

that is changing your feelings

that is robbing you of freedom

that is robbing you of joy

Move from obligation to the road of freedom!

Many before you have experienced this path as well.

Maybe some of these thoughts will help you

to find the road from Obligation 

to freedom 

and reclaim your JOY!

Freedom 

to not expect that the

past is allowed to erase your Joy!

Freedom

to know you've done your best!

Freedom

to accept that some situations

will not be changed.

Not because you don't want it

maybe, because they won't accept it

or you!

Freedom

in knowing 

that you tried!

Freedom

to know that you can change your mindset

 and not worry about the outcome!

Be blessed!

balancinglifethejourney@gmail.com

DarleneBl©2025

REFLECTIONS

 

I love this picture showing how a reflection 

can be something quite different

 than what you would expect.

I have seen many lake reflection pictures

 that also show the shoreline 

a bit differently.

A ripple in the water will distort the picture -

 similar to life distorting 

our view of ourselves

and of others.

How often do we listen to another's voice

Instead of the knowledge 

of who we are inside,

Who we were created to be.

How often do we let a situation change us

Allowing the reflection to distort - 

Changing the reflection of our life?

How often do we take our mistakes

Wear them like heavy chains?

Although if we truly saw the real reflection

We would instead see those mistakes

as growth and as 

stepping stones?

How often do we judge another's choices 

That may be different from ours

Allowing our reflection of them 

to change

And not always in a positive light.

Reflections can be there for our growth

Reflections can be there for our protection

Reflections that distort may make us change

To become better

To become stronger

To become kinder

To become lighter

Reflecting on this last year is what 

gave me the thought for this post.

We can reflect on the past 

Sometimes it won't change the future

And sometimes, it changes us

Deep inside where it matters.

When we give grace to ourselves...

We are better able to extend grace to others.

When we give ourselves a chance...

We can grow stronger and better.

Don't be so hard on yourself

Every day we learn new things about ourselves 

Every day we learn about others

Learning new things about them as well

Every day 

we have growth 

to embrace

Every day 

we have changes 

that will change us

In the reflection of the mirror:

Know that everything will be okay!

Know that you are stronger than you know!

Know that the reflection can sometimes be distorted,

But we each can make it different if we try.

Believe in yourself,

Always!

And, lastly, 

As Pooh said:

Be Blessed!!

©DarleneBl